Bed Etiquette for those who Share a Bed

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Do you sleep well at night despite sleeping next to someone else? Is your bed partner having problems sleeping? If your answer is yes to both of these questions, then it might be you who’s keeping your bed partner up all night.

Even if you sleep well, you should still feel concerned about your bed partner’s lack of sleep, especially since you’re the very reason why they can’t get a full night of zzz’s. Observing the following bed etiquette can help, though, so make sure to take note of the following.

1. Talk it out with an open mind.

It’s very likely that your bed partner knows exactly what it is that you do in your sleep that keeps them up all night.  Talking about it with an open mind will help you get started in addressing the issue. Do not feel offended or hurt if they think that your kicking or cuddling is too much, though, because being defensive will get the two of you nowhere. You need to understand that both of you may sleep differently, so addressing those differences is essential.

2. Don’t hog the blankets.blanket hoggingBlanket hogging is one of the most common issues bed partners experience. It’s also the easiest to solve: get a bigger blanket or get separate ones for the both of you. It’s simple and you don’t have to get resentful and angry at each other over it.

3. If you can’t sleep, don’t toss and turn in bed.

If you’re the type who constantly needs to find the right position to fall asleep, tossing and turning could be your usual bedtime activity. This can also be the very reason why your bed partner can’t fall asleep as they can feel your every movement through waves on your bed. What you can do is to just get out of bed first if you still can’t fall asleep and do something else. Go back when your sleepy and ready to catch some zzz’s.

4. Just don’t move around too much in bed in general.

Some people are also notorious for moving around the bed too much in their sleep. This one’s really tricky to solve because you are doing it unconsciously.There are a few solutions, though:

  • Get a bigger bed. If the problem is that your bed partner gets kicked and punched every night, putting some space between the two of you can help.
  • Get a bed with motion insulation. Some mattresses, like the Salem Elite collection, have individually wrapped coil springs, so each spring won’t affect the others. This allows bed partners to not feel the other’s movements, allowing a fuller and undisturbed sleep.
  • Sleep in separate beds. In the worst cases, sleeping in separate beds might work out for the best. You can still share a bedroom, but getting two twin beds might be a better idea than sharing just one big bed.

5. Don’t take too much space on the bed by sprawling.

bed sprawler

If you share a bed with someone, you also have to consider that they need space to lay down in. Avoid sprawling or taking too much of the bed as a courtesy. If you can’t do that, you can also opt to get a bigger bed or separate beds.

6. Work on your snoring.


Snoring can definitely keep your bed partner up all night or even jolt them awake in the middle of their slumber. Sadly, solving snoring takes a while, so while you work on it, you can either get your bed partner some ear plugs to shut out the noise.

7. Squeeze in a cuddle schedule on your bedtime routine.

If one of you don’t enjoy sleeping while cuddled with the other, things can definitely get complicated in bed. To work this out, first throw out feeling offended out the window. Some people just really don’t like to cuddle when they’re asleep for a whole lot of reasons, one of which is that the cuddler could be very heavy and restricts the breathing of the other. In any case, it could keep them up all night.

But cuddling is great, so a compromise is essential. What you can do is to schedule around 10 minutes every night to cuddle. This is ample time to relieve stress and release some happy hormones to your body, so you can sleep easier. You can go separate ways afterwards and sleep back to back or however you want.

Remember that working on improving on both bed partners’ sleep is essential to improve your health and relationship. So make sure to work out on these issues right away so your problems won’t get worse and affect other areas in your lives.


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